a momma’s prayer
Father,
You know my broken heart. You made my heart, just like you made the heart of my little baby. My little baby whose heartbeat I saw. My little baby who is now in Your arms.
And you know the grief I have over the dream ending. I trust for future dreams, but am so sad for the end of this one.
We were going to have an April baby. Or perhaps late March. Our family and friends were all so excited for us. We were going to take Baby Samson to see family in June and July 2009, and then to missionary training in the fall, and finally to the Philippines in early 2010. We would have taken him or her to Disneyland before we left California. And the beach. We had a name.
God, I trust You. I know that someday we’ll have a baby on this side of heaven who we’ll know and name and teach and love. I know Your love is all our baby needs now, but if it’s possible can You tell our child we love him or her? Could You tell my son or daughter that this mother can’t wait to see him/her and that I love him/her so much?
Oh Lord, I am trying not to be anxious about the future. A terrible fear of min has now come true, but now I must trust You for whenever You bring us another child.
It all seemed so perfect! How our baby was conceived was a constant reminder that You are the one in control of creation. You knit my baby together, You started the heartbeat, and You took my baby Home. This was always Your baby.
Thank You that we know we can get pregnant. Thank You for the time we had to know there was a baby created by You through the two of us uniting. Thank you for loving us through the short pregnancy and now into the time of grief and loss.
Increase my faith, Lord, I pray. Grow my confidence in Your good will and Your omniscient way. Increase my joy in Your Name and peace in my spirit. Please make me look more like You, so when I am a mother I will be a godly one, wise in the things of my Lord and calm and understanding through the storms of living.
You, oh Lord, know what is good.
And You, oh Lord, are my God,
the God, forever.
~a mommy
Amy you are an amazing woman of God. You are an amazing child of God. I know no words could ever fully comfort you, but I just want you to know that I’d been praying for you both. and I praise God for both of your hearts. you two have have helped me grow so much spiritually, so if anything thank you for that
I just wanted to say that I know this hurt and I know that this feels like the hardest thing you have ever been through. Everyday will get a little better. I am here if you need a listening ear.